On Favoritism
Before she had fans of her own, my younger sister has been my number one fan. She followed me everywhere and did everything I did. She copied my penmanship and wore my clothes.
I remember being forced to sing at every family party where all relatives and people I don't know would gather. I would sing reluctantly each time. Then she takes center stage and grabs everyone’s attention with her version of all the latest TV ads and then dances the Hawaii 5-0 to everyone’s delight. The crowd would erupt to deafening belly-laughs and wide-eyed amazeballs expressions. She’s a natural.
The constant comparison to her effortless confidence and hearing my own parents say I had “inferiority complex” made me dislike her so much. I remember her crying when I refused to hug her. She never got any help from me from tying shoelaces to school projects. I thought, why would she need help if she’s that good?
I was so spiteful. I made sure I poured all the sisterly love I could to our youngest sister. She was really jealous and that made me happy. She can’t have everything. At that point, it had already gone on for too long. I just can’t be the Ate she wanted or needed. I was not there for her. I made her feel that way.
I am grateful for the hardships we had to face as sisters in the coming years because it gave me an excuse to be on her side. We had to stick together. Those years gave us a chance to finally get to know each other. She has since been my rock.
Favoritism can be a challenge. It can create a hostile environment for everyone involved. Thoughtfully considering how you respond to what happens around you matters a great deal. At work and as adults, there are various ways to deal with favoritism or perceived favoritism. Having a Coach who can help you navigate through this is one I offer.
About Jeng
Jeng Macalagay is a Career Coach who has 18 years of work experience in various industries. Over 10 years of which were in Human Resources where she led the people strategies on Talent Management, Performance Management, and Leadership Development.
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