Performance Feedback: Peer Influence
In my previous organization, I was given the feedback that I needed to improve my influence among my peers. I mostly kept to my team and our deliverables. I could present well to stakeholders when I need to. I’ve never been great at big meetings with all my peers though. I am not socially awkward but I have zero skills at small talk.
Most of them would talk about current events and the latest trends. I always felt inadequate because I made a deliberate effort to avoid the news. I thought I’d inevitably hear about them from people around me anyway. I conserve my very limited energy for my priorities at the moment. I could always reach for the information I need when I need them. We live in a generation where Google is now a verb. We google everything so why bother? We even ditched our TV at home last year.
I sound like a total snob. I must have appeared that way. No one could read our minds. They only see how we behave.
Feedback is a gift. Sometimes you don’t like what you get but you receive it graciously always. We all try to assume positive intent. I did a few things differently and was glad I made an effort to work on it. If you’re anything like me perhaps these could work for you too.
Unlocking Peer Support
Seek help from mentors. Fortunately, my mentors have great charisma and my peers look up to them. I asked for their help. Apart from the tips I got from them, they also created opportunities for me to collaborate more with my peers on various projects.
Schedule regular catch-ups. I scheduled a recurring calendar invite with each peer. I am not great at big meetings but I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people through one-on-one conversations, over coffee, if possible. This gave me a chance to get to know each peer, what their priorities are, what they value and how we can best support each other. It’s always fun to discover our similarities and unique talents. If there’s a baggage counter where you could leave any perception or bias you may have with the person you are meeting, I highly recommend it. Be truly curious.
Be consistent. Relationships are built over time. In between those regular sessions, I would check-in on my peers. Whenever you can, offer some support. Cheer someone up. When you truly care about others, it will be felt and appreciated.
Talk behind their backs. Not about awful things. Let’s turn this thing around and spread kindness. Make sure you celebrate their wins by sharing it with others.
Let go. Let’s face it, you may not be everyone’s cup of tea. You will also not enjoy the company of some people. That is perfectly fine. Being authentic is important. Your wellness comes first. We can only serve others when we take good care of ourselves. Serve from your saucer. Keep that cup overflowing.
About Jeng
Jeng Macalagay is a Career Coach who has 18 years of work experience in various industries. Over 10 years of which were in Human Resources where she led the people strategies on Talent Management, Performance Management, and Leadership Development.
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